THE DRUNK ROAD TRIP: Have you ever gotten a lift from someone and you blackout in his car then find yourself in his garage and his wife waking you up? You haven’t traveled yet if you haven’t witnessed the odds.
The day is Sutarday, the year is 2015 February. Baby girl I had travelled to kisumu to eat samak and treat myself after Valentine’s day passed by and he failed to show up. So you know me. I take myself there. Solo traveller indeed.
I booked my sweet self at Kiboko Bay. Went to Lwang’ni beach to eat fish. Toured a few places in kisumu city and even danced ohlangla music in some clubs. Went to the port and became a captain for a minute and made so many friends. My 5 day tour in kisumu city comes to an end and I have to travel back to Nairobi on Saturday morning.
Mimi huyo Guardian Angel booking office. And before getting into the office to buy a ticket, a cool looking gentleman approaches me. He got a Prado and he is driving back to Nairobi. He is looking for passengers. We are 5 of us in His Machine. He and a co male driver. And us, 3 young ladies. I quickly recognize one of the ladies. My college mate. Let’s call her Karen.
Karen introduces me to the rest of the crew. The co-driver is Karen’s boyfriend. Let’s call him Odhiambo. And the ower of the car is Ouma. (Name withheld) Ouma has the other lady passenger as his side chick. Let’s call her Stacy.
I quickly make myself comfortable because I know Karen. They were actually looking for one Extra person and when Karen saw me she asked her boy friend Odhiambo to call me. Our journey back to Nairobi starts. Ouma’s brand new machine is blasting with music. The machine is flying. These people from the lake side know how to eat life with a big spoon. They are drinking the most expensive whiskeys with sur names. But do I say? Omera.!!!
Our journey is cool. I have tasted some booze. I feel tipsy. We make stop overs almost every town for a drink. Free drink. The gentlemen are sponsoring big times. Ouma’s big machine skides and slides on the road. But who cares.
We soon approach Nairobi after almost 14 hours plus on road. I mean, we have been partying throughout the journey. No one is in a hurry because the following day is a Sunday. We finally drop Karen and Odhiambo in Westlands . 11 pm. We headed to drop Stacy at her place in Nairobi West then me in South C and Ouma has to drive to his place in Imara Daima.
When we got to Stacy’s place, Ouma helps his girlfriend carry her luggage in the house. So I have the whole back seat to myself. Zikanionyesha nilale. I quickly pulled my black showl, covered myself and off to dream land. Pombe! Pombe! Wacha tu!
The following morning I am woken up by a lady and her two kids. Ouma’s wife. She is taking the kids to church. She first screams when she found me lying on the back seat of her husband’s car. So Ouma forgot there was one more passager to be dropped and instead drove to his home and packed.
Ouma’s wife screams causes some attention and everyone in the estate comes to see…..
I am now wide awake…. I can hear her calling out ugly names towards her husband who has no idea what crime he has committed.
“Naona you decided to bring one of your girls home eh?” Barks Ouma’s wife.
Ouma stares at me like I am an alien and askes me, “Jaber, kwani hukusuka kwako yawa ? Ona siida umeniletea!! ” in his Luo accent.
Curtain closes! The end! Travel and make memories.